My struggle with social anxiety | lesliemargaritablog.com

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My struggle with social anxiety

My hands were sweating, and I couldn’t catch my breath. There I was, standing in the middle of the cafeteria not knowing where I would sit or who I would talk to.

I looked around looking for an empty table where I could wallow in my solitude.

I ate by myself in the library that day and many days after that as well. I hated middle school AND high school. I even took extra classes to graduate early and get out asap!

For as long as I can remember, I have always struggled with social anxiety. Rooms full of strangers and awkward introduce yourself  ice breakers are a torture for me.

It’s the one thing that I don’t like about myself.

Here’s 4 reasons why:

  • People assume that I am shy. Trust me, I am not shy. My husband probably wishes I was sometimes!
  • People assume that I am conceited. Truth is, I don’t think I’m better than you. I’m just simply terrified of talking to humans! What am I supposed to say? “So…ummm..Hey, look at the sky. It’s blue”.
  • This fear of communicating with people has kept me away from creating friendships. Nothing cool about being friendless.
  • I have kept my loud, extrovert husband from doing things he loves. Like, hanging out with humans.

 

The good thing is that, I have improved! It was my desire to reach out to the women in human trafficking that forced me to break that barrier.

It took a lot of prayer. I told God I was sick of being this way and that I wanted to reach out to those girls but I felt uncapable of approaching them or even starting a conversation.

I decided I was going to punch fear in the face. Enough is enough!

For the first time in my life I feel free from social anxiety. It feels so refreshing to go to meetings, events and connect with new people.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…” 1 John 4:8

 

Leslie Margarita Photography | Houston wedding photographer

 

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